This experience is definitely one that I will never forget.  Everything from going to classes, meeting new friends, exploring the city and visiting my family in the village where I was born have been journeys filled with learning and excitement.  The emotions that I have felt while I was here have been only good ones and not enough words can describe the happiness that I have found here.  The Lao culture and people have welcomed me home with open arms and if possible, I hope everyone will one day get the opportunity to visit this wonderful country.  I am sad to leave, but excited that I will have the chance to share my experience with others once I get back to the States so that maybe I can spark some interest in others to learn about Laos.  I hope everyone that I had the pleasure meeting and/or working with knows how appreciative I am for them because they are the ones who have made my trip here unforgettable.  I can’t wait for my next visit because now I have even more family and friends here than I started out with.

A view of the Mekong River.

“It doesn’t matter how much you have if you don’t have anyone to share it with,” these are the words my mother instilled in me since I was a child. I have always lived by these words, but have never witnessed their true meaning until this past week when I visited the village of my birthplace.

I arrived in Houayxay, Bokeo province, last Thursday, July 16, 2009. I was welcomed by my aunt, uncle and my two younger cousins. As I walked towards the crowd of people waiting for their loved ones, I wondered to myself if I would be able to pick out the aunt that I had only seen in a photo that my mother had mailed to me before my trip to Laos. Before I knew it, I heard my name being called. It was my aunt and uncle who had picked me out from the group because they had recognized my face as that of my mother. The smile on their faces made me realize how great this visit was going to be. During the almost two-hour ride towards home, we talked as though we’d known each other forever. My aunt and uncle joked about how they spotted me at the airport not only because I had my mother’s face, but also because I had my mother’s height and how little I’d changed since I had left them. Once I arrived at my grandmother’s house, I found her with her head looking out of the side window of the house. The glint in her eyes and smile on her now very small framed face was priceless. I could not have asked for a better welcoming. My family knew I was coming so they made sure there was food ready for me to eat and as you all know, I was very excited to see it and couldn’t ask for anything else. They even went out and purchased a new mattress for me to sleep on. For the rest of the day, I had visits from relatives who were curious to see how this once round-faced, bald little girl had changed. Everyone asked the same question when they arrived, “Is this E Nang Yaeng?”, as that is what I am called in the village. Everyone had stories to share about things I used to do as a child, the friends I used to run around with and the story of the day my parents, siblings and I left. I could have sat around all day listening to their stories.

I stayed in Muang Mom only six days, but I have to say that I’ve never had a more relaxed, carefree time as I did there. I spent most of my days riding a bike around the village with one of my little cousins sitting behind me, making visits to homes of relatives who saw us and called me to stop by. Every stop I made, I was offered something to drink and anything they had to eat and of course more stories to listen to. Because I lost my biological father once we arrived to the United States, I had very little memory of him, but the stories everyone had to share made me understand where I got my personality from. I would have never known this about myself if I hadn’t had this opportunity to hear his stories directly for myself. When it was time for me to leave their homes, everyone would always apologize and tell me they wish they had more to give me. I was amazed at this gesture because if it was an outsider looking in, they would see it the other way around and that I should be the one saying sorry for not being able to offer more. Although every family in the village were hard-working farmers, they could not be any more humble than they were for having enough to live off and good family and friends to spend their time with. This is something that really touches my heart and I admire a lot. My visit was during rice planting season, so I learned that if you were done planting on your land, you would help others in the village.  The way they saw it was that you are not finished until everyone else is too. The sense of community they had just blew my mind. Most of my mornings and afternoons were spent exploring the village. In the evenings, I spent my time at home just hanging around with the family. I loved playing with my little cousins and especially loved it when I could just sit outside watching my grandmother feed the many chickens she was raising. I also enjoyed hanging out with everyone in the kitchen as my aunts prepared meals over the clay stove they used. We would all sit and eat together. I don’t remember the last time I had the chance to sit down with my family to a home cooked meal, since my family lives so far away from me.

Due to the fact that my cell phone couldn’t get any reception up in the North, I had nothing to distract me from being home and just taking everything in day by day. I loved being surrounded by everything Lue. I even think I can speak the language better now. Everyone was surprised and happy that I could eat everything they cooked for me and that I was able to make conversation. This is thanks to my mother. I feel very fortunate and blessed that she didn’t let me forget and lose my background. During such a short trip, I learned so much about myself and my family and even got a couple pictures of myself as a child during my time in Laos that I had never seen before. I even learned that the village I was born in is right across from Myanmar and that it was part of the Golden Triangle; I would sit at the Mekong River banks some afternoons and just look over and down the river and wonder what people on the other side were doing or how they were living. This trip also made me realize how little time I have here and how much I still want to see and learn about Laos. There are still so many more places and different groups in this rich country that I would love to explore and visit. I am already trying to plan my next trip back.

It’s been a while since my last blog and as usual a lot has happened so I would like to share a couple of stories with all you readers.

At first I was pretty bummed  because I thought that we would not be able to partake in any festival or celebration while we are here since it is the rainy season, but luckily, we were able to take part in Khao Pansa (Buddhist Lent).  Khao Pansa this year started on July 7^th and continues for the next three months.  During this time, the monks spend most of their time in prayer and meditation and are restricted from traveling far out from their villages.  The night before Khao Pansa, families sit together to prepare Khao Tom (steamed rice dessert) and various other goodies that they will use for Tak Baht on the morning of Khao Pansa.  Some of us had the opportunity to visit our Achaan’s (teacher) home and help wrap the rice in banana leaves for the Khao Tom.  Once again I was able to experience first hand the togetherness that the Lao culture strives to upkeep.  On the morning of Khao Pansa people take time out from their daily activities to visit temples in their neighborhood with their family.  It is during this time that people take time to reflect on their lives and ask for forgiveness on past sins that they may have committed.  Later the same night, many return to the temple to participate in Vien Tien. This event consists of lit candles, wrapped with flowers, and walking around the temple three times, ending with placing your candles on the Buddha statue that represents the day of the week you were born.  It was very heart warming to see all the faces that made it out for Khao Pansa, most temples even ran out of sitting spaces; this showed me how important the people of Laos thought of their tradition/religion.  I would have never thought that I would be blessed with the opportunity to take part of Khao Pansa at the That Luang temple.  It was a very humbling experience for me since That Luang is such an important place for the Lao people and Khao Pansa is a meaningful celebration.

I had originally thought that I would make a visit to my birth place this past weekend, but some changes came about and I joined the rest of the group to Luang Prabang.  Although it was a long 10 hours bumpy road trip, it was worth it because the route was very scenic with beautiful mountains, rice fields and small towns along the mountain sides.  Luang Prabang is definitely a place worth visiting because it has a lot to offer with its history and magnificent landmarks to see.  The best part of this trip was the chance for me to meet some relatives that I have not seen since I left Laos.  They were so welcoming and kind that I wish we could have stayed longer.  The most awesome thing they did for me was a last minute Baci (blessing ceremony) the night before we left.  All the other SAILers, except Vatsana because she had to spend time with her family, were also invited to be part of the Baci.  After the Baci we had dinner and once everyone left I stayed behind a little longer to just sit and talk with my aunt and uncle.  Boy did they have some interesting stories to tell me, stories I probably would have not thought to ask myself.  I am learning more about myself and my family’s history since I’ve been here than I’ve learned in my entire life before I arrived.  I even learned that I was actually born in a different village than I have always thought.  These important facts about myself, along with many other things that I am learning while I am here, have made me realize how important of a decision it was for me to come study/visit Laos with the SAIL program.  Tomorrow I leave Vientiane to go home to Muang Mom, the place I been longing to visit.  I am more than excited.  I know that I will learn so much more about my family and myself.  I can say with confidence that this trip will be the most emotional trip for me while I am here.

As for everything else, I am learning a lot, in class and everywhere I go.  The people here have been more than kind and welcoming.  They are always so eager to talk to me and I am as well with them.  I am proud to say I am reading, although it takes me a while to read a couple of sentences.  I hope to become even better at writing.  I have to say, this accomplishment could not have been possible in such a short time if I did not have good teachers, my Achaan (teacher) and language friends to practice with, and of course due to the fact that I am in this beautiful country taking in everything Lao.  My volunteer at the hospital has also been great, everyone is so nice and accommodating, always asking me what I would like to see and learn.  I am still eating a lot, although mommy’s cooking is still the bes,  and trying to explore more of the city whenever I get the chance.

That Dam stupa in Vientaine, Laos.

Today I ventured out on my own to explore more of the city.  I took a tuk tuk to Nam Phou (the fountain located in what you would call downtown of Vientiane).  This area is where you would find most of the tourists hanging out.  The first place I stopped at was at the Lao Airlines office, where I bought my ticket to fly out to see my family next week.  No words can explain the excitement and emotion that fills my heart.  I cannot wait to meet all my aunts and uncles, especially my grandmother.  I am looking forward to hearing them tell me stories of when I was just a toddler and of course I can’t wait to have a home cooked meal.  Although I think Vientiane is a beautiful place, I feel I have not really seen Laos until I travel out of the city.  As always, I am going into every situation with an open heart and mind, with no expectations, because I feel this is the only way to really enjoy whatever comes your way.

After I purchased my plane ticket, I walked around the area for a while then I headed towards Talat Sao (Morning Market).  You can find practically anything at this market.  On my walk, I strolled through That Dam and although I had seen it prior, this time I was really able to admire it and see its beauty even more.  Once I reached Talat Sao, I headed across the street to Khuadin Market.  To me, Khuadin Market is just as good a place to shop as Talat Sao because you can find the same things being sold here and sometimes a little cheaper.  At Khuadin Market, my bargaining skill was put to the test.  I purchased a new school shirt and a belt for my sinh (Lao traditional tube skirt), of which I have bought two and already had tailored.  I would like to say that I did a pretty good job bargaining because I was able to get everything I bought for almost half the starting bid price.  After exploring for a while, I made my way back to the area where we are staying via the bus.

I can’t believe we are at the end of our third week already.  Time is just flying by once again.  School has been great and I am meeting more new friends who I can exchange conversations with.  I feel I am blending in a little more as my conversation skills are improving.  I also officially started my volunteering at Settathirath Hospital in the Pediatric Ward.  Everyone at the hospital has been very nice and accommodating and I feel I am learning a lot.  I can’t wait to tell you all about my visit up north, but more than anything, I wish you all could be here yourself.

Our first weekend was full of fun. On Saturday we attended a baci (blessing ceremony) for one of the Ugrad student, Khoun. We were picked up at 8 am and were one of the first people to arrive at Khoun’s house. For the blessing ceremony they had 9 monks, followed by the Sou Khaun, which we were also a part of. I must say that Saturday was one of the hottest days since we’ve been here, but that did not stop us from dancing. The food was great and Khoun and his parents were the most attentive hosts. Later that night we attended a special dinner at a Hmong and Lao American couple’s home. Their house was so beautiful, the food was great and the hosts were so welcoming. At the dinner, we had the opportunity to meet a lot of successful Lao scholars and business people. I felt very humbled at the chance to sit and talk to each one of them. They all had very amazing stories to tell of their work and some good suggestions for us. Following dinner, some Ugrad students picked us up to attend a music festival hosted by the French Center. I forgot to mention earlier that we had the chance to sit down with all the Ugrads from Lao American College when we first arrived. These students are the brightest of their class and have won full scholarships to study abroad throughout America. There are a total of 8 or 9 of them. These students are not only bright, they are also very nice and fun to be around. They have become our friends and we’ve been able to exchange our experiences with each other. Sunday was also full of good experiences. I started the day early by going to the meat market where we bought beef, fish and lots of vegetables for a barbeque later that day. In the afternoon, we visited a children’s center that focuses on promoting the arts, music, dance and Lao culture for disadvantaged children around the area. These kids were amazing, they prepared a couple of performances for us, which included musical instrument playing, a couple of traditional dances, followed by some songs that the founder of the center wrote. The best part of this visit had to be when we were asked to get up and hold hands with everyone while singing a song about friendship. The night ended with a barbeque. At the barbeque, we met more LAC students and I found my language partner Khoung. I think we will learn a lot from each other. It was a lot of fun talking to everyone and hearing a little of everyone’s background. I hope to meet even more people as time goes by.

There has been nothing about Laos that I can complain about. I am loving the “Tuk Tuk” rides, dinners along the Mekong River, and chatting it up with the locals at the markets. No matter where I go, I am at awe at the rich culture Laos has to teach me. I have been here less than two weeks, but I feel like I been here forever because I feel so comfortable here. I am counting down the days till I meet my grandmother. I spoke to her for the first time ever this week and I had to hold back tears because I realized how close I am to meeting my family that I have been waiting to see since I was a little girl. I hope to have more exciting stories to share with everyone, but as I said before, my stories are only a little taste, you have to come to Laos to get the full experience.

After 18 long hours of traveling from San Francisco to Tokyo to Bangkok, we still had more traveling to do before we reach our final destination to Vientiane, Laos. The anticipation was now killing me more than ever because I was so close to being back home. Our overlay flight from Bangkok to Vientiane was more than 8 hrs so we had to spend a night in Bangkok. Being that we had just traveled half around the world, the other SAILers and I were too excited to go to sleep so we decided to explore the area around the hotel. This turned out to be quiet an interesting venture. Not only was the direction of traffic the opposite of that in the States, we saw lots of dogs just straying in the street, we even saw some sleeping on the side of the middle divider. We also saw toads hopping in the middle of parking lot and had our first encounter of meatballs on a stick from one of those street vendor carts.

The next day, we had to wake up bright and early to catch the hotel shuttle for our flight. The only thing now keeping me from being in the Motherland was another hour and a half. Although, I had less than 3hrs of sleep, I stayed awake the entire flight so that I did not forget any part of my journey to Laos. Of course the first thing I wanted to do when we arrived was EAT, but we had to check into our hotel beforehand. We were picked up by a very nice fellow at the airport, who later helped us negotiate a price for our first “tuk tuk “ride, which we took to eat at our first sit in home restaurant, followed by a trip to what is called the “Morning Market”. This market is pretty much a big indoor flea market with everything from food to clothes to electronics. Amazingly, although we were all drained, we still managed to get picked up by Samantha’s friend for some night outing. He took us to a place serving something similar to a hot pot dinner, followed by a drive around town. The most exciting thing about my first night in Laos, hands down, had to be my night ride inside the truck bed around the city.  I felt HOME!

It has been mind-boggling to me how much we get done in a day. I have been sleeping late and waking up early. My days have started out with walking around and exploring town. It is especially important to get things done early because later during the day, it is so hot that it makes you lazy and slow at doing things. We also started school on Monday, which has been great. I must say that the Lao language is definitely not an easy language to speak and write. There is also so much to discover in our Culture and History of Laos class. I can not forget to mention the group’s visit to Donkoi Children’s Development Center. It was so much fun and the kids were so wonderful. They put on a performance for us, which included singing in Lao and English and a dance. I also met another Tai Lue volunteer while at the center which was exciting because our family were from the same area. We ended our second night in Laos with another “tuk tuk” ride to downtown, where we had dinner sitting along the Mekong River which felt so surreal.

My visit to That Luang is just one example that has proven that words and pictures is not enough, everyone has to experience Laos themselves to truly understand its magnificence. I am at a lost of words when trying to describe my feelings here, at times I find myself feeling chills or teary eyed with the realization that I am in this amazing place. Each day has been an adventure in its own. I still have so much of Laos to see and I just can’t wait. So far I have been eating everything I can get my hands on, but honestly, I have to say nothing beats my mommy’s home cooking.

The internet has been pretty difficult to upload anything so until I can share some pictures and videos, I hope you guys can use my journey thus far to get a taste of Laos.  I am truly having the best time of my life right now and the journey is so young still so I hope to share more soon.