A view of the Mekong River.

“It doesn’t matter how much you have if you don’t have anyone to share it with,” these are the words my mother instilled in me since I was a child. I have always lived by these words, but have never witnessed their true meaning until this past week when I visited the village of my birthplace.

I arrived in Houayxay, Bokeo province, last Thursday, July 16, 2009. I was welcomed by my aunt, uncle and my two younger cousins. As I walked towards the crowd of people waiting for their loved ones, I wondered to myself if I would be able to pick out the aunt that I had only seen in a photo that my mother had mailed to me before my trip to Laos. Before I knew it, I heard my name being called. It was my aunt and uncle who had picked me out from the group because they had recognized my face as that of my mother. The smile on their faces made me realize how great this visit was going to be. During the almost two-hour ride towards home, we talked as though we’d known each other forever. My aunt and uncle joked about how they spotted me at the airport not only because I had my mother’s face, but also because I had my mother’s height and how little I’d changed since I had left them. Once I arrived at my grandmother’s house, I found her with her head looking out of the side window of the house. The glint in her eyes and smile on her now very small framed face was priceless. I could not have asked for a better welcoming. My family knew I was coming so they made sure there was food ready for me to eat and as you all know, I was very excited to see it and couldn’t ask for anything else. They even went out and purchased a new mattress for me to sleep on. For the rest of the day, I had visits from relatives who were curious to see how this once round-faced, bald little girl had changed. Everyone asked the same question when they arrived, “Is this E Nang Yaeng?”, as that is what I am called in the village. Everyone had stories to share about things I used to do as a child, the friends I used to run around with and the story of the day my parents, siblings and I left. I could have sat around all day listening to their stories.

I stayed in Muang Mom only six days, but I have to say that I’ve never had a more relaxed, carefree time as I did there. I spent most of my days riding a bike around the village with one of my little cousins sitting behind me, making visits to homes of relatives who saw us and called me to stop by. Every stop I made, I was offered something to drink and anything they had to eat and of course more stories to listen to. Because I lost my biological father once we arrived to the United States, I had very little memory of him, but the stories everyone had to share made me understand where I got my personality from. I would have never known this about myself if I hadn’t had this opportunity to hear his stories directly for myself. When it was time for me to leave their homes, everyone would always apologize and tell me they wish they had more to give me. I was amazed at this gesture because if it was an outsider looking in, they would see it the other way around and that I should be the one saying sorry for not being able to offer more. Although every family in the village were hard-working farmers, they could not be any more humble than they were for having enough to live off and good family and friends to spend their time with. This is something that really touches my heart and I admire a lot. My visit was during rice planting season, so I learned that if you were done planting on your land, you would help others in the village.  The way they saw it was that you are not finished until everyone else is too. The sense of community they had just blew my mind. Most of my mornings and afternoons were spent exploring the village. In the evenings, I spent my time at home just hanging around with the family. I loved playing with my little cousins and especially loved it when I could just sit outside watching my grandmother feed the many chickens she was raising. I also enjoyed hanging out with everyone in the kitchen as my aunts prepared meals over the clay stove they used. We would all sit and eat together. I don’t remember the last time I had the chance to sit down with my family to a home cooked meal, since my family lives so far away from me.

Due to the fact that my cell phone couldn’t get any reception up in the North, I had nothing to distract me from being home and just taking everything in day by day. I loved being surrounded by everything Lue. I even think I can speak the language better now. Everyone was surprised and happy that I could eat everything they cooked for me and that I was able to make conversation. This is thanks to my mother. I feel very fortunate and blessed that she didn’t let me forget and lose my background. During such a short trip, I learned so much about myself and my family and even got a couple pictures of myself as a child during my time in Laos that I had never seen before. I even learned that the village I was born in is right across from Myanmar and that it was part of the Golden Triangle; I would sit at the Mekong River banks some afternoons and just look over and down the river and wonder what people on the other side were doing or how they were living. This trip also made me realize how little time I have here and how much I still want to see and learn about Laos. There are still so many more places and different groups in this rich country that I would love to explore and visit. I am already trying to plan my next trip back.